Good Parenting Advice For New Parents

It happened! The moment you’ve been waiting for. A new chapter in your life’s story just began: You’re a new parent. You may have looked to this moment with excitement or a little bit of fear, anticipation or anxiety. The easy part was labor and delivery (as difficult as that might have been). The hard part comes next; raising this infant to become a caring, responsible adult. Tons of books, videos, and opinions exist on child-rearing and the information can be overwhelming. What’s needed right now is simple good parenting advice for new parents.

Believe it or not, parenting is as much about self-care as about infant care. You can learn the mechanics of how to care for a newborn from your child’s pediatrician, a parenting manual from the bookstore, and online articles from reputable sources. The KidsHealth website has good information on basic newborn care. But new parents often neglect self-care, a pattern that can evolve into helicopter parenting, codependency, and even ill health. Learning how to take care of yourself during this stage of your child’s development will help you become a more relaxed and competent parent, able to enjoy your new adventure in parenthood.

Here is some good parenting advice for new parents in terms of taking care of your body and emotions.

Your Physical Health

Your health is important; you know that. Yet you’re sleep deprived, exhausted, and cranky. Maintaining your strength and stamina is important for you and your baby. If you’re a breast-feeding mom, it’s especially crucial to take care of your health through proper nutrition and rest.

1. Eat a healthy breakfast. Avoid sugary foods such as donuts, pastries, and pre-sweetened cereals. Eggs, fresh or frozen fruit, and hot cereals like oatmeal are better for giving you the energy you need throughout the day. So start with a good breakfast.
2. Exercise. It doesn’t have to be a jog around the neighborhood, a trip to the gym, or 45 minutes of calisthenics. It can be stretching, going for a brisk walk, doing a dozen jumping jacks every couple hours, or five minutes of dancing to your favorite song when you begin to feel your energy draining. Just get moving in a strategic way. The endorphins released by bursts of physical activity can reduce fatigue and improve your mood.
3. Keep your baby close at night. Consider bringing the bassinet or portable crib into your bedroom. When s/he cries you can lean over to pick her up and attend to her needs rather than getting out of bed, walking down the hall and getting your blood pumping. Just be sure to put your little one back in her crib. You might roll over her while you’re asleep, or she might accidentally suffocate under big blankets and pillows.
4. Naps are not just for children! Take advantage of the time your baby is napping to catch up on some much-needed rest. You can always get household chores done while baby is content in his swing or playpen. When it comes to naps, if you don’t snooze you lose!

Your Mental Health

1. Keep your thoughts positive. Focus on the good. Stay engaged in pursuits you enjoy. You needn’t deny the reality that you’re tired, maybe even resentful at times. It’s perfectly normal to want more time for yourself. Yet it’s important to stop ruminating over all your new responsibilities. Take one step at a time, one day at a time.
2. Read or listen to music. If you miss being able to sit down with a good book like you used to, consider listening to audiobooks as you nurse your baby. Playing music never interferes with parental duties. Develop an attitude of gratitude, and find at least one way to soothe yourself each day–books, music, meditation, dance.
3. Accept and allow your emotions. New parents often find themselves running the gamut of emotions. They’re exhilarated and joyful one moment, only to feel overwhelmed, down, or discouraged the next. This is perfectly normal. Moms are experiencing hormonal changes in the weeks and months following childbirth. These changes can result in mood swings and crying “for no (apparent) reason.” Dads may be feeling a combination of happiness, pride, and irritability; plus greater pressure from added the responsibility and financial strain brought about by the new addition to the family.
4. Make an appointment with yourself. You can take care of your emotional well-being by ensuring you have time for yourself. Arrange with your spouse, partner, or a family member to watch your baby for a specified amount of time each day or week. Do something relaxing or enjoyable. Treat yourself to a special activity or favorite food. Even if you can’t leave the house, put another responsible adult in charge and find a quiet room or patio to refresh and rejuvenate yourself.

A Special Note About Staying Connected

As new parents, overwhelmed by new responsibilities, it’s easy to neglect your relationships and friendships. Regular interaction with caring friends and family members is especially important during this time. Even self-identified introverts need human connection on occasion.

When I was a new mom, with a son who needed brain surgery (which turned out just fine in spite of my misgivings), my mother had dementia, and my father had suffered a recent stroke. My divorced, younger brother’s advice was wise, but minimal. He told me to remember that crying was the only means of communication a baby had to show a potpourri of emotions. I was overseas with a network of peers, but their pregnancies and infants had been completely “normal.” I had to rely on strangers for my answers, but my friends who had children before me were my greatest source of support, wisdom, humor, and connection.

Connection is imperative for new parents. Visit friends, invite extended family over for potluck dinner, or join a local support group for new parents to connect with other adults and avoid feelings of isolation. If you are a single parent, maintaining connections with the important people in your life becomes even more important.

And don’t forget to nurture your relationship with your spouse or partner. He or she is who you need most. An extra dose of patience and understanding is always welcome. As exciting as being a new mom or dad is, being a parent doesn’t replace your relationship as a couple.

So, for those looking for good parenting advice for new parents, you’re on the right track! Congratulations and welcome to the club! For those of you who need help or advice along the way, you know where to find me!